Fuer die englisch kenner.

[Jarandi]

 

[Jarandi]

 

[Löffelmann]

 

[Löffelmann]

 

[Kingklops2]

ok, überredet

 

[Jarandi]

 

[Löffelmann]

 

[Waldlerfranz]

 

[Jarandi]

They say 90% of all Land Rovers manufactured are still on the road.
The other 10% have reached their destination.

Land Rovers are just like married women…
They moan on long journeys, embarrass you in front of friends and you spend more money than you ever expected once you've committed yourself to one.

Traffic cops congratulate you when they issue you a speeding ticket!

Q: Why do Land Rovers have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted?
A: So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for AA road assistance.

Q: Why Land Rovers have the best fuel consumption of all 4x4's?
A: That's because they are always being towed by other vehicles.

Q: Why do Land Rovers always drive in convoy?
A: They are playing ‘Who’s The Weakest Link?’

Q: Ever wondered why the models are called Series 90, Defender 110, etc?
A: Those numbers in the model name indicate their top speeds!

When you drive on a toll road, you’ll notice these yellow emergency
phones next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there are four emergency numbers listed: Police, ambulance, fire and…Landrover Service!

 

[Jarandi]

 

[Löffelmann]

 

[Rainbow]

Anhang anzeigen 252135
They say 90% of all Land Rovers manufactured are still on the road.
The other 10% have reached their destination.

Land Rovers are just like married women…
They moan on long journeys, embarrass you in front of friends and you spend more money than you ever expected once you've committed yourself to one.

Traffic cops congratulate you when they issue you a speeding ticket!

Q: Why do Land Rovers have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted?
A: So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for AA road assistance.

Q: Why Land Rovers have the best fuel consumption of all 4x4's?
A: That's because they are always being towed by other vehicles.

Q: Why do Land Rovers always drive in convoy?
A: They are playing ‘Who’s The Weakest Link?’

Q: Ever wondered why the models are called Series 90, Defender 110, etc?
A: Those numbers in the model name indicate their top speeds!

When you drive on a toll road, you’ll notice these yellow emergency
phones next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there are four emergency numbers listed: Police, ambulance, fire and…Landrover Service!

British Elend

 

[Jarandi]

If your Landy dont have an oil leak, send it in for repairs!

What does the Titanic and a Land Rover have in common? It has the same turning circle and is just as waterproof!

Why did they use Land Rovers for the Camel trophy? To make things as difficult as possible for the contestants!

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same. " - "He replied, "It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

I bought a paperweight today, in the shape of a Land Rover.It looks good on my desk, and you can wind it up and it leaks olie for 5 min.

When the last of the English solders left on their ships after the Anglo Boer War ,the crowd on the shore shouted abuse at them,and one solder on the boat shouted back- we will get you back, we will make your life hell, .... few years later the first Land Rover arrived !

Why does a Land Rover have so many holes in? For the water to get OUT.

When you mount a portrait of a Land Rover against the wall, remember to put newspapers on the floor for the oil leaks.

Land Rovers don't leak oil - they're only marking their territory.

You know its a Land Rover when you stop at the fuel station and ask the attendant to check the fuel level and fill up the oil.

Why is a land rover the best vehicle for overlanding in Africa?
If you break down you never have to walk very far before finding another broken down Landrover you can steal parts from.

There are two man made structures visible from space, the Great Wall of China and the gap in a defenders door frame.

When you take a Landrover for a valuation they don't take out the blue book, they take out the scale to weigh it for scrap metal.

With a Land Rover you can't decide whether to park on a hill in case your starter fails or on the flat in case your handbrake fails.

How do you get oil into a Land Rover? Throw the oils over the engine and it will leak in.

Land Rovers don't have engine numbers, only expiry dates.

There was once a competition between the Land Cruiser and the Landrover,
they wanted to determine which of the two is more air tight..
in order to do this they put a cat in each truck and left them overnight...
the next morning the cat in the Cruiser was dead and the one in the Landy got away....

Why do Landies have heated rear windows?
So your hands don't get cold when pushing.

Do you know what all those stickers in Landrover windows mean?
That is all the towns they had to get the Landy repaired in.

There is a rumour that Defender drivers greet other passing Defenders with a friendly wave, this in fact is untrue. There are merely showing that their hands are clean, and they have not broken down yet.

 

[Löffelmann]

 

[Löffelmann]